Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
