thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
