So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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