Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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