Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Come on in and take your pants off
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