I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
