I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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