Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
