hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
