She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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