Me. At least after what I've been through.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
