I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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