i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
