Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
