why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
