I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
