and she was petting her beer can
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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