youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
