Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
