Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
