I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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