Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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