i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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