Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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