We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
