awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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