I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just had sex on a roof
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
