My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
