Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
