they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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