How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
