just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
