Say something about gay babies.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
