I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
