It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
