I think my vagina is haunted
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
