why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
