I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
