Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
sarcasm needs its own font
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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