So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
