Can i not drive my cunt home
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
