Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
