Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
