I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
