i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
operation harelip BJ is a go
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
