you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
