We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
