So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
