we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
