Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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