Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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