Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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