Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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