hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
